Aesthetics Apologetics culture Depravity Ethics Grace Morality Privacy Rights Tolerance

Modesty is Gone With the Wind

Modesty is gone with the wind.

It used to be that a person could, well, do their business without having to consider who might be watching..much less scrutinizing whether or not your some kind of bathroom snob.

I mean really, when did life become so transparent that a person had to check the latrine laws before relieving themselves?

I am a man, not a ma’am. I don’t believe that’s too confusing, and if I need to clarify it to someone that’s easy enough too. The point is though, that I shouldn’t have to do that. Going to the John is not about that for me. It’s not about my self-esteem, self-identity, or self-proclamation. It’s not about protest, equality, or rights. It’s simply about number 1 or number 2!

Furthermore, I don’t know about you but if I have to use a public restroom, it’s because I can’t hold it and there is not another, more private option available.

I hate public restrooms but unfortunately, my vocation leaves me with no other choice at times. I drive a delivery truck in a mostly rural area so I must be an opportunist when it comes to potty breaks. When opportunity knocks, well I’m forced to listen.

You see, there’s nothing private about a public restroom. For men, the urinals are side by side with a small 2 or 3-foot divider about shoulder high. Is that supposed to be private?

The commodes are usually in stalls that are about 6-foot-high but have a foot gap at the floor. I guess that floor level gap is a potential escape route if the door won’t open.

Oh, and the door…The doors to the stalls have a small turn lock (evidently developed by NASA) but have half-inch gaps on either side. I suppose the gaps are for you to see out and make sure the coast is clear while you’re timing your explosive EMP’s (Evacuates Most People) gastrointestinal traffic jam since you’ve been holding it in a futile attempt to avoid a public restroom. Otherwise, they would’ve made the doors with 6-inch gaps so the person outside could hand you a roll of toilet paper through the door.

(Side note: never refer to TP as “bathroom tissue, even though that’s what is on the packaging. During an extended stay at the hospital recently, I tried to be discrete in front of several nurses when I asked one of them for the location of the “bath tissue”. She then yelled at the top of her lungs “What? What’s bath tissue? What are you saying? I don’t understand what you’re asking.” After expressing that what I actually needed was TP, she gladly showed me to the closet where it was located…and used it as a training experience, made a Youtube video, and a podcast about it, I’m sure.)

The public restroom is for all intents and purposes the greatest equalizer of all human inventions. It is a location of great unpretentiousness. It is truly the place where the CEO puts his pants on one leg at a time while the company nobody may actually become a real pee-on. One may enter and leave a public restroom chin up, but the time spent inside should always be head down. It’s not a place for hand-shakes or looking someone in the eye. It’s a place where although utmost consideration is given to individual privacy, that effort only manifests itself as low self-esteem. People don’t converse there. Most of us aren’t interested in identity at all. It’s not about that. The only shooting the breeze in there is the spontaneous breaking of the wind.

That brings me to my question.

Why would someone choose that environment (public restrooms) to take a stand on their gender identity?

It is one of the most intrinsically embarrassing places in the world. It is a necessary place of privacy-in public. By definition, it is a place where people who are thrown into a public venue seek maximum privacy, with the understanding that it is only a façade of real privacy.

Yet, there are those who would parade themselves into that environment for the purpose of full disclosure? I don’t get it.

Let’s not talk about the obvious safety concerns with men and women in private areas exposing their private areas. Just answer why anyone, no matter how they self-identify, makes a big to do over the public poo poo and justifies making everyone else that much more uncomfortable?

I believe we can answer that with one Southern apothegm. “Let’s just say, they ain’t suffering from a lack of modesty.”

The whole point of their argument seems to be one of assimilation. They desire an end to discrimination. They want to go unnoticed and for us to pretend that we don’t notice that they’re different. Yet, they want to cause this big stink about the big stinky?

Isn’t that like running into the street naked and yelling “nobody look”?

Yep, they may have found some courage but their modesty has vacated them. That seems to be the problem with a great many people these days. In general, our culture has lost its modesty. We have actually discarded it in the name of ‘transparency’.

Well, there should be a few places, a few citadels of coyness, where modesty reigns. But, they are quickly disappearing as far as public restrooms are concerned. There will soon be no private place where a person can politely pass gas in public areas.


Modesty is gone with the wind and frankly my dear, they don’t give a d**n.

I was born in the mountains of Southwest Virginia, born again at a very young age, married a beautiful and likeminded woman, moved to Tennessee, and raised two children in the Southern traditions of loving God and neighbor, exercising manners, and being stewards of the land and its bounty. After becoming involved in youth ministry in our local church, the need of teaching people "what they believe and why they believe it" became painfully apparent, especially in my immediate context (rural Southern churches). We began an apologetics/theology ministry there but have since moved on. After serving in church leadership and being called to faithfulness and duty to protect our congregation from a rogue pastor under church discipline of his previous church, my experiences in this biblical process shape much of what I believe about how churches in the South have become weak and why nominal Christianity is prevalent. I love the Church and Southern culture so you can expect to read about apologetics and theology as well as church and culture here, written southern style, by the grace of God. Deo Vindice

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